We Thought We Had It All

I was working when the song "I'd Do It Again" by Violet Wautier came on. It has been on repeat in my playlist since then. I love the song but for some shitty reason, it makes me want to cry.

Life at home has been emotionally draining as usual. My brother had started walking again (albeit with crutches) these past few days, but today, his knee hurts like before.

My mom is worried about him but tired, my brother insists that he knows what's wrong with him based on what he has read online, and my dad avoids the issue because he doesn't want to get involved.

Meanwhile, my parents' relationship continues to remind me every day why I don't want to settle down.

Sometimes, I feel so stuck and trapped here and feel bad for myself that I want to shut everything out. I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that things are going to be okay.

I mean, as great as it is to be around the people I love, I want peace of mind, which we don't have over here.

There are too many issues that had been swept under the rug all these years, and it's just a matter of time when they would all come back and bite us.

No wonder I was such a bookworm while growing up. Books were the only escape I had at that time. Over the years, I've met awesome people I could talk to about things, and books were no longer my only friends.

Right now, with the pandemic and everything, everyone seems so far away. Anyhoo, here's part of the lyrics to the song I posted above:

I recall when you were mine You used to teach me how to drive You used to make fun of me when I'd cry And I remember how we met 3rd of July, I wore a white dress

And your hand was broken, you were in a cast

And we fell in love But we both messed it up You were a storm and I was fire Yeah, we both had enough Of things broken on the floor What were we fighting for?

It was bittersweet You were like a dream And I was your girl on the passenger seat Right next to you We were unstoppable We thought we had it all

We used to laugh about the things That no one else would find funny Just you and me when nobody's around And I remember every second When we broke up in your car I held a smile and held you in my arms

We were so in love But we both messed it up You were a storm and I was fire Yeah, we both have given up It's not working anymore (no) Don't want to fight no more

It was bittersweet You were like a dream And I was your girl on the passenger seat Right next to you We were unstoppable We thought we had it all