Just Another Boring February

The first month of the year is about to end, but I'm still in the process of decluttering and organizing everything that I own.

I did not expect it to take this long but hopefully, I'll finish this way before the pandemic is over. That way, I could try to enjoy things here at home without thinking about other stuff.

Speaking of other stuff, February is almost here, and I'm honestly not looking forward to it. Or maybe it's more like there's nothing to look forward to.

Either way, February this year is just another normal month for me. Two years ago, I had the time of my life in Thailand. One year ago, I was excited AF to see someone - that or to travel solo and tick off some places off my bucket list (both got cancelled 😏).

This year, I'll be starting February by going to the hospital to accompany my brother as he sees a specialist for his knee.

It's not something I'm looking forward to because going to hospitals during this pandemic honestly freaks me out. I have even more reason to feel that way now since new and more contagious variants have already been detected in the country.

I know there are a lot of people saying the pandemic is not as bad as it is being made on TV, but if you personally know someone who died from it, someone young, promising, who had his life ahead of him, and who had no reason to die other than COVID got him pretty bad, it's another story.

Anyhoo, yeah, my brother will finally be seeing a specialist after months of not being able to walk because of his knee.

My mom was supposed to go with him but considering that she's a senior, the clinic is in a hospital, and the positive cases here in Cebu have drastically increased recently, we decided it's better if she just stays at home.

Since my brother could not go by himself because he has a hard time walking as it is and doing stuff while on his crutches, someone has to go with him. My dad is out of the picture as well because he's also a senior. Considering his temper, we'd rather that he just stay at home too.

That leaves me so yeah, wish me luck.

The only thing I wish is not bothering the same time as we deal with my brother's health problem is my migraine, which has been coming on stronger and more frequently now.

There are also instances where it makes me forget things just as soon as I think about them, which is terrifying AF. Imagine thinking you want to eat pizza so bad and then immediately after that, you forgot what you were craving but you know you wanted to eat something pretty bad. It's annoying and scares the shit out of me. :(

It's probably because of the stress or maybe I need to wear glasses now but either way, I hope it's nothing serious and would go away with a few day's rest.

Things at home are still the same. My parents' relationship is still falling apart, and like always, I'm caught in the middle trying to keep things together. It's so emotionally exhausting and at this point, I don't know if this aspect of my life will get better.

Another aspect of my life where I don't have much hope is my own personal relationship. After coming out of a 2-year LDR, I'm not really looking forward to having to start from the beginning again.

Of course, I still look forward to finding someone and will have to start from the beginning at some point, but right now, with the pandemic and everything, it's hard to imagine actually getting to know someone without having to go on real dates.

Tinder conversations can only do so much and so far, I havent' found someone I feel like talking to beyond the "hbu" part. LOL. Bumble is also out of the picture because no matter how my friend Pao tell me it's awesome, I don't like to message first. Nope.

On a more interesting update but not necessarily a happy one, our dog gave birth to six healthy puppies last January 3. They are starting to get really playful now and super cute too.

As much as I wish we could keep them, we couldn't because we already have 11 dogs. This is why I'm trying not to get too attached to them, which is hard. :(

It's 12:34 AM and I need to get some sleep already. Goodnight to whoever happens to read this. LOL