Getting Used to My New Normal

I'm trying my best to be okay.

The last time I talked to my ex was a day ago, and it was to tell him that I have made my decision - we shouldn't get back together, we should stop keeping in touch, and we're over for good.

You know what I just realized while writing that? It’s been almost a year since we last saw each other. This time last year, we were counting down the weeks before we would meet again in Taiwan. Isn't it sad how everything changed in just a short span of time? :(

Now with COVID in the picture and traveling almost impossible, a long-distance relationship is even harder especially if he's not sure about us.

For me, I was sure about us, and I was sure I wanted to be together, but I can't stand anymore seeing how uncertain he was with me and with us. It has always been like that every time.

There was this one instance before that really stuck with me. We were talking and he said that he can't reassure me that we'll work out because we don't know what will happen in the future. I mean sure, no one knows the future, but it's like he was already making a disclaimer right from the beginning that I shouldn't count on us being together against all odds.

Anyway, with that chapter of my life closed, I figured I should focus on other things. At this point, I need to sort out a lot of aspects in my life that I have not really given much thought before. 

Too Soon for Another Relationship

Yes, I am aware that life happens when you least expect it, so I might be taking this back or maybe not, but who knows, right? LOL.

All I can say is that right now, I'm starting to get into that mindset that I'm single, and that's okay. I’ll probably be alone for a while. I'm not in a hurry to get into another relationship, but if it'll happen, it'll happen. 

The only dating app that I'm on right now is Tinder, but I haven't opened it for weeks.

Aside from the fact that I had been talking to my ex, it also got to the point where it was exhausting to deal with guys who's all about hooking up.

Sometimes, they can even get very rude because apparently, it's "Tinder", so hookup should be the end-all and be-all.  

Uhmm hello? It's a dating app. While there's nothing wrong with wanting to hook up, how about a normal date first? Or a normal conversation? Is that so bad?

Also, how can anyone be sexually attracted to someone that rude? No thanks.

Starting Over in a New Place

I have lived in BGC for two years now, and while it has been wonderful all throughout, it's not really that practical because the rent here is expensive for a local like me.

For those two years, my priority had been comfort. I got that and as much as I wish I could continue the same lifestyle, my priorities now have changed and that is to save.

If I stay here, the cheapest rent is at PHP 25,000 to PHP 30,000 for a studio unit. Together with all my other expenses, I won't be able to save much with the salary I'm currently getting.

To be fair, my work is pretty good and the pay is great, but if I want to save more, I need a cheaper place to stay.

The thing is, I'm not familiar with any places outside BGC, so that's the challenge. I can't picture out how near or how far from BGC a place is, so figuring out if commuting is easy is pretty hard. Preferrably, it will still by pretty near, and very accessible by Grab.

Also, another consideration of mine is I want to stay in my own place, so it should be something I can afford alone. Right now, I live in a 2-bedroom condo with an awesome flatmate. She's always not here though.

I'm not sure yet if she wants to continue renting, but she did mention at the start of the year that she was planning to just go home every day starting next year. With COVID in the picture now, I still have to clarify that with her. 

Getting Hooked on Mobile Legend: Bang Bang

This is the most unlikely thing to happen to me in recent memory. I've never been fond of computer games or any games online for that matter, much less anything that involves fighting.  

Back when PlayStation 1 was still a thing, I used to play with my brother sometimes. All I could remember was disagreeing on what we should play. If he wins, it was always RPGs that involved killing enemies and fighting. I always just end up getting killed and screaming my way to being killed (or saved, if I get lucky), so I don't think it was that enjoyable for him, much less for me.

Right now, I'm hooked on Mobile Legend: Bang Bang. This has been a very popular mobile game for a few years now, but I've always just ignored it. I know a lot of people are addicted to it, but I haven't even given it much thought.

With lockdown in place and not much else to do, I found out that a lot of my friends are playing it, and long story short, I also got convinced to try it and now, I'm pretty invested in it.

My level is still pretty low atm (Master II), but I'm learning a lot. So far, I've realized that I like heroes that are more of the supporting/defense role better, so I'm pretty hooked on using Nana. Right now, my Nana is locally ranked at #60, so I'm getting there.   

Also, I've learned that I don't scream that much anymore over getting killed or attacked or doing the offensive. I was honestly surprised by that. Haha.

If anyone wants to add me on their team for a game or something, feel free to do so. My ID is 737873742, and I go by the name Aliana Ren. :)

Weight Loss Goal Is On > Lose 10 kg

I won't tell you my weight right now because it's embarassing, but considering that there's not much else going on in my life, I figured this is a good point to start focusing on my weight and getting rid of those extra pounds.

LOL It would be nice to be able to wear really cute stuff again, even if I just stay inside the whole day. haha. Also, I need to justify why I bought an Apple watch. 😁

That's it for now. Hoping for a great week ahead. Cheerios.