All Good Things Come to an End

You’d think I’d be used to this by now.

Things ending. People leaving. Life shifting in ways I didn’t ask for.

After everything -- relationships, routines, seasons of my life that I thought would last longer than they did -- -- you’d think the endings wouldn’t catch me off guard anymore. But they still do.

And this one hit me harder than I expected.

A Goodbye at Work

Today, our company let go of one of our team leaders.

She wasn’t just a TL to me. She was my TL. The first one I had when I joined the company, and honestly, one of the best people I’ve worked with in my entire career.

Back when we were all new and trying to make sense of everything, she made us feel like we belonged, like we weren’t just rookies trying to survive onboarding, but part of something real.

She treated us with a kind of respect and kindness that’s rare in any workplace, and she saw potential in people before they saw it in themselves.

She saw it in me.

Lifelong Lessons I'll Take With Me

She’s the reason I started thinking more seriously about career planning. She would often remind me and our team that being uncomfortable doesn’t always mean something’s wrong, but that it could also mean we're growing.

She had this calm way of reminding us that change is part of the deal and that sometimes it won’t make sense right away or feel fair, but staying open to it is part of how we move forward.

And now it’s her who’s gone. That’s the part I wasn’t ready for.

Rain, Distance, and Things I’d Rather Forget

Rainy BGC as seen on the 7th floor of our building.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about moving. Not just emotionally, but physically.

Like actually finding a new place to live somewhere closer to BGC or Makati or even McKinley -- somewhere that doesn’t require me to pass through Alabang every single night.

I used to love that route, but now I fucking dread it.

It’s strange how places that used to feel safe and familiar can start to feel heavy. Like every stoplight, every side street, every gas station knows a version of you you’d rather not run into anymore.

Maybe I’m just tired of sitting next to that version of me on the bus, that version of me who always wondered why I wasn't enough for him.

My Dating Life? Yeah, No.

I admit that I really, truly suck at picking guys.

I don’t know how I managed to graduate cum laude and still make such consistently bad choices when it comes to relationships.

At this point, I might as well start hosting monthly meetings for the Forever Alone Club. Snacks provided. Heartbreak optional. Yokona’s already RSVP’d. 😩

A Haunting Line That Leaves a Mark

I watched this documentary recently, Jeremiah Tower: The Last Magnificent. There was this one line that stuck with me.

I wasn’t expecting to feel much from it, but this one quote landed hard and hasn’t really left me since:

"You don't lead a life like Jeremiah, and you don't take the chance with the guillotine the way he does without being a lonely man, and he made his mark. That takes loneliness."

There was something about the way that was said. It was quiet but heavy, and it stayed with me because it felt honest -- not romantic, not tragic, just raw and very real.

Sometimes the lives we want, the bold and beautiful and messy ones, come with moments of loneliness.

Of letting go. Of walking away from chapters we loved, even when they still felt good.

It made me think about how sometimes the people who take big leaps, who step away from what’s comfortable, who try to do something different, those people often do it alone.

It doesn’t always mean something’s wrong. It just means they've chosen a path that not everyone understands, and while it can feel isolating at times, it also means they're making space for something bigger.

Something that actually fits, at least that's what I hope I'm doing with my life.

Closing This Chapter

That’s where I’m at.

Another chapter is closing whether I like it or not. Another version of stability is disappearing.

And as much as I hate endings, I know this much: every time something good ends, it’s usually because something else is waiting in the wings.

I don’t know what that something is yet, and it scares the hell out of me: the unknown, the uncertainties, the constant self-doubt that comes with treading unfamiliar waters.

I don't have a choice at this point - it's either sink or swim.