Maybe This Is a Sign

If this past week has taught me anything, it’s this: life has a way of pulling the rug from under you when you least expect it.

One moment, I'm screaming my lungs out on a Star City ride with my friends, thinking the worst part of my week would be a sore throat. The next thing I knew, I was staring at my wall with news I had never seen coming.

Just last Saturday, my friends and I were having the time of our lives enjoying the rides at Star City. Things were good, and I thought that things would be fine for a while. I was wrong.

Today, my life is a limbo of uncertainties. It's hard to focus on anything considering what happened, what's about to happen next week, and eventually, how I'll be leaving Manila next Saturday with a really heavy heart.

Do I even have a reason to come back? Technically, I don't, and that's why it feels like leaving Manila this time around is for good, but I sure hope not.

What makes everything even harder is that I'll be going home to celebrate my mom's 65th birthday on September 11, which is also her retirement celebration.

After a really impressive 45-year career as a public school teacher, she's ending this chapter of her life with a party celebration that she never had all these years.

She deserves this more than anyone I know, and I don't want to dampen the vibes of the occasion, so how things are turning out in my personal life right now could not have come at a worse time.

It's really hard to stay positive when all I wanna do is cry and feel bad at how things are turning out. Juiceko.

Also, although I never really bother with my own birthday every October, this year would have been a nice chance to go a little extra than usual and celebrate. I guess that's out of the plan now. :(

So at the moment, I'm just taking in everything as calmly as I can and keeping my head above water.

It's hard, but I'm trying to look at this as an opportunity to regroup, to reconsider all that has happened, and to re-evaluate my life.

Looking back, how ironic is it that I posted a month ago about how I'm starting August right, only for it to end like this.

As easy and convenient as it is to get caught up in all the negativities and wallow in self-pity, I can't do that. I shouldn't that.

This, too shall pass, Bing. This too, shall pass.