Making Peace With 2019
- Izobelle
- Jan 2, 2020
- 6 min read
Updated: Jan 23, 2020
I’ve been debating for days now whether or not to write something to close the year. Whenever I thought of the things that I could write, it always goes back to my breakup and how shitty it has made my 2019.
However, these past few days that I spent just staying at home and getting rid of stuff I should have thrown years ago made me change my mind.
I had been busy with cleaning and decluttering but in the midst of it all, I also realized that life goes on and that despite the pain, I’ll be okay.
And so I decided that instead of letting my breakup define my 2019, I’m gonna focus instead on the things that I’m very grateful for.
✔️First, I got to travel way more than usual this year. I went to Thailand (February), Malaysia (May), Taiwan (August), and Singapore (November) - more countries than I thought I would be able to, considering my work schedule and my finances.
✔️Second, I got regularized at my job and I got a raise way higher than expected. Yay! And I get to write all kinds of stuff.
✔️Third, I got my Juris Doctor title. I know it’s a mere formality for me because I have no plans of ever practicing law. However, it was a nice opportunity to catch up with my friends from law school and see what everyone is up to at this point in their lives.
✔️Fourth, I moved to a condo within BGC. Not only do I not have to commute anymore, I also got lucky enough to end up in a really awesome unit that’s rigged with everything I need. I also get along really well with my roommates so that’s a bonus. Starting 2020, I’ll be solo in my room too so I’m really looking forward to that.
✔️Fifth, I spent my birthday with my family back in Cebu and got to treat my parents to an overnight stay at Movenpick. It was way more expensive than the usual hotel resort but I wanted my parents to experience what it’s like to stay in a place like that so it was super worth it.
✔️Sixth, I attended an SEO training, which was paid for by my company, as well as attend the Singapore Fintech Fest. In terms of learning new things, I definitely got lucky to end up in the company that I’m working for right now.
✔️Seventh, I learned a lot of new things that I didn't bother before like knowledge-base writing, managing social media channels, trading cryptocurrencies, UX and process writing, and basically stepping up to all writing and proofreading and ghostwriting tasks that need to be done - and they were not so bad.
✔️Eight, I’ve been using my personal Macbook for work. With its depleted memory, it's a bother to have to keep on waiting forever for it to do its thing (it's super lag) so I asked m company for a Macbook that I could use for work. They obliged so thank you!
✔️Ninth, I get to keep my room at the condo all to myself starting this year - which means more closet space for meee. LOL. But seriously, personal space has always been a big deal. Most of the time, I like the peace of mind that comes with being alone. Loneliness is another story (which I'll save for another post) but that aside, I find that I could write better if I'm by myself.
✔️Tenth, I snagged a roundtrip seat sale for Vietnam that is set for February of next year. Considering its close proximity to Cambodia, I plan on heading there as well. I’ll be solo traveling, so it’ll be different from the trips that I did this year but crossing my fingers it’ll be even more awesome.
✔️Eleventh, my company lets me work from home whenever I need to hence, I’m able to spend Christmas and New Year with my family in Cebu.
✔️Twelfth, I met a lot of amazing people this year and became friends with a lot of them. I get along really well with my workmates (except for the asshole-who-shall-not-be-named) and finally got to have my own work station and pedestal at the office.
✔️Thirteenth, my family and my dogs are safe, healthy, and doing well - can’t ask for anything more.
So those are 13 of the things I’m really grateful for this year. There’s no denying that 2019 has been heartbreaking and there were a lot of lessons that I needed to learn but I learned well.
Moving forward, I hope I can make better decisions in all aspects of my life.
To my ex Bijan, I hope you’re happy. Looking back, I realize now that you were full of excuses as to why we couldn't work out. God knows I fought hard not to believe them at first and tried to convince you otherwise. I didn't want to believe your reasons why we couldn't work out, but you were good at making it seem so hopeless even when we talked about getting back together - like being in an LDR is an insurmountable challenge where there's no solution.
You said you want to give us another chance but highlighted right away how you don't know when we'll see each other again. You said flying out to see me twice in a year was too expensive and you couldn't do that always. Yes, I understand that's being realistic but for you, that was it.
We're in an LDR, it's too expensive to fly out there, you're on the other side of the world, who knows where this is heading, no idea - 'nuff said.
Back when I was still fighting for us to not break up, you already had the same mindset.
I remember saying we need to work harder so that we could see each other again sooner and be together eventually. Your reply? Working harder won't change anything. It won't make the distance any closer.
I admit my first reaction was WTF. It's like being told (after putting in your everything) yeah, so what? I mean, if that's the case, if that's the way you see things, maybe you're right about this being a waste of time.
I know I procrastinate like a pro and can be real lazy at times but one thing I can say about me is that I'm a doer and I don't freaking settle.
If I want something, I work for it. If I find something expensive I want to buy but I couldn't afford, I work harder, I save more, and I do everything that I can to get that. I don't sit around waiting for it to become affordable. The same goes for everything else.
If we want something badly enough, we hustle hard to get it. We work our asses off to make it work. We don't just sit and wait for things to happen. We make shit happens.
Anyway, that being said, I hope you have good year ahead, Ascott Guy.
Moving on, here are some of the things I’m looking forward to next year:
Apply for a US tourist visa
Learn more about trading crypto and stocks
Go to Vietnam and Cambodia
Study more about SEO
Visit Coron and El Nido in Palawan
Start considering taking an MBA
Get a new phone
Lose weight by exercising
Eat healthy
Drink more water
So hello, 2020. I hope you'll be good and kind to me. And here are some pics from my holiday 😌
P.S.
I guess the only downside to my 2020 is that I got an allergic reaction to something on NYE and it persists until today although it's not as bad anymore. I have no idea what triggered it and that's what's freaking me out.
My mom said it must have been due to something I ate, which is probably either the danggit, the shrimps, the crabs, or the other seafoods that I had while at home. Urgh. I love seafoods more than lechon so to be allergic to one of those out of the blue is a bummer. I've never been allergic to seafood before! 😩
As for my allergic reaction, I had rashes on my face which are like itchy AF. At first, I thought it was just because of the dust because I've been cleaning and dusting everything around the house. But then the little bumps got really prominent very fast, which had me like WTF THOSE ARE NOT NORMAL!!! It was New Year's day by then and being in the province, we had no idea if any nearby doctors or clinic would be available.
Since allergies were the only thing I could think of as the reason, even if I thought it was unlikely because I've never been allergic to anything before, I took Citirizine. Thank god my mom keeps them. I had one and thankfully, the rashes started to fade by the next day. Right, there are still some faint traces of the rashes but they're almost gone now.
Comments