Hi—It's Me Again

God knows how long it’s been since I last wrote a blog about what I’m up to. It has been a hectic few months, with lots of big changes, and I haven’t had any desire to write anything down about my life.

Until now, that is — at 2:00 AM on a Friday, where I have two deadlines to meet for a freelance project and a day job that starts at 9:00 AM.

I guess the biggest change that has happened so far was resigning from my writing post at my previous company.

After three amazing years with a startup that introduced me to great people and an even more amazing world of cryptocurrencies and blockchain, I have decided that it was time for me to move on.

It wasn’t an easy decision to make and there were definitely catalysts that triggered it, but I’ve always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

Yes, I was sad to leave, and it was made worse by the fact that I wasn’t able to see my friends at the company before doing so, but there were no regrets — none.

It was one of those things that no matter what caused it, no matter how sad it was, it still felt like the right thing to do.

The In-Between

Right after I resigned, I was partly unemployed for about a month. Partly because I still have my freelance hustle, which helped a lot in making me feel less useless during that period in my life.

With a pandemic that has been raging for almost two years now, going by without a job was honestly scary.

I have always been the type who feels restless when I’m idle and as much as I wanted to think of that period as a time for me to wind down for a while and take a break, that was easier said than done.

Of course, it was my decision that placed me there in the first place, and while there were no regrets, I definitely had fears and lots of them — fear of not being able to help out my family, fear of not having my financial independence, fear of the uncertainties that come with being unemployed.

It was a learning moment for me, not just by showing me how important perseverance is, but also by showing me firsthand how shitty it feels to be in that situation and that we need to be kinder to ourselves and to others in the same boat.

After the first two weeks and two major interviews that fell through, I admit the despair was getting overwhelming. At this point, it was so easy to give in to my demons because I felt discouraged, beaten, and hopeless.

Did you ever have that moment where all you want to do is cry and curl up in bed but your main worry is what your family would feel if they see you in that state (like you’ve just been to hell and back lol), so you just put on a happy face instead?

Yep, that was me for a while. Coming from that experience, I definitely tip my hat off to everyone who’s in the same boat as I was and continues to hustle.

There will be days when it’s way harder to trudge on your mountain, there will be days when things will be more shitty than usual, there will be days when everything feels hopeless, and there will be days when it feels it’s easier just to give up, but DON’T. Please don’t.

Things will get better, no matter how hopeless it may seem at the moment. The only thing that makes a difference is that we don’t give up.

If you need to take a break, take it because there’s nothing wrong with that, and everyone deserves it. Also, be kind to yourself. I wasn’t and that was not a good idea.

I’m not an optimistic person in the first place and not being kind to myself is my norm. I’m still learning how to be better at dealing with that because it’s not easy tbh, but if there’s one piece of advice I could give to others, it’s that to try to be kinder to themselves.

Don’t be like me on my shitty days. 😅

New Chapter

Today marks my second week in my new company. It’s a SEA-based venture builder and so far, everything has been going good.

The company is still in the crypto/blockchain industry and for that, I’m really thankful because I love this space and I still have a lot to learn.

This time, I’m on a permanent work-from-home setup, so work and travel are definitely in my plans now. I just hope the whole Covid situation blows over.

Speaking of Covid, I’m still not vaccinated, but I definitely want to get my shot soon. I just hope they have Moderna/Pfizer again. I know Sinovac is okay, and I have a lot of friends who had it, but I just feel so uneasy with it.

Anyhoo, that aside, I’m also trying to get other aspects of my life in order. There are bumps along the way (like the property dispute we have now over a piece of land we’ve had for two decades because someone else is claiming it), but I’m getting there.

I’m getting my finances in order, I’m having our dogs spayed one by one (yes, with 16 dogs atm, that’s the best plan but not really that cheap), I’m decluttering and selling off things my family and I don’t use, and I’m renovating my room because I’ll probably be staying back home for a while.

So far, I guess that’s it for now. I have work in a few hours and still have some projects to finish before then. Wish me luck and TGIF to whoever reads this. :)