Don't Get Stuck in Reverse

No matter how often we revisit the past, there is nothing new to see..

This is a very hard lesson that took me a while to learn because it wasn’t easy to accept that some things are not meant to be.

Between navigating life, love, and loss during a pandemic, and dealing with my own personal demons, the past has always felt like a safe space that I could revisit whenever things feel more fucked up than usual.

It was familiar. Comfortable. Something to cling to when everything else in the present felt like it was falling apart.

I'm desperate for anything (or anyone) to hold on to, but at the end of the day, I know I was just fooling myself.

What happened, happened, even if I don’t want it to, even if I don’t like how it ended, even if it hurts six ways to Sunday, and shattered me again and again in ways I can’t explain.

So here's the naked, brutal truth: I can’t move forward if I'm stuck in reverse, so I'm letting go.

It’s hard to imagine how our whole world, which used to be so promising, could be summed up into just that - let go.

And I am letting go.

As a new year begins, I want to step into it with clear intention: This is the year I release everything that no longer serves me. This is the year I stop looking back and start reaching for the kind of peace that comes from moving forward.

Letting go isn’t easy, but this year, I will move forward in the direction that gives me peace of mind. I will not get stuck in reverse.

This time, I’m choosing healing. I’m choosing peace of mind. I’m choosing me. I want to be happy.